i've always thought of myself as a somewhat flexible individual, not very high maintenance (hm), and i still think i am… but, i guess we all have our hm side!
being in lima, i realized how much i enjoy comfort. being comfortable is so much more than sleeping in a comfortable bed, having clean/comfortable clothes, having a comfortable home … but it also includes the comfort of "knowing." for example, to "know" what this day has in store. to "know" that your family and friends love you. to "know" that there is consistency and safety. the comfort of consistency may come from a restaurant. consistency may be provided by your family and friends, knowing that they are there. the comfort of consistency from your car (reliability). the comfort of knowing what a lazy afternoon looks like. all these things keep us in a state of comfort, but why?
can i offer a simple explanation? cause we're in control of it. of course, having comfortable things adds to that, but besides comfortable material items, being in control gives us comfort. imagine you wake up in the morning, and none of your gadgets work. start with your alarm (i'd be late for work), then comes the hot water (water heaters broken), then you realize you're out of tooth paste… well you catch my drift. ahhh, stress!!! everything is falling apart, things are no longer in your control. what you expected to happen, is no longer happening. it is no longer a comfortable situation.
i thought comfort wasn't that big of a deal for me… apparently not. where am i going with this?
well, its this: my joy is circumstantial. for those engineers out there, joy = f(my_comfort). my joy is dependent on my comfort. the thing with this variable "comfort," is that it unfortunately stretches beyond physical & material comfort. it also hinges upon emotional comfort, and even social-status comfort. and because of that, my joy can fluctuate a great deal and some what easily.
the Lord has been impressing a lesson on my heart - where does my joy come from?
be joyful always… give thanks in all your circumstances… i have learned the secret of being content in all circumstances…
boy do i have a long way to go to become perfect. haha.
where do i feel uncomfortable here? haha. i'd bore you with too long of a post. :P but, praise the Lord, i've grown in comfort in many many areas. let's just say, it's taken 6 months to just scratch the surface of getting comfortable. however, there was a price to pay. a few weeks ago, everything kind of came collapsing in on me. the comfort level was at an all time low, and thus my joy = f(my_comfort) also plummeted.
i lost sight of something. Jesus. (yeah, us Jesus freaks drag Him into everything.) i needed refocusing... when tsunami's devastate nations. when loved ones pass away. when nations war against nation. when business seems like its going no where. when a loved one gets cancer and undergoes therapy after therapy. when you know every taxi driver is ripping you off. when you have no control nor do you understand anything. when you receive sorrowful news. Jesus. He sits at the throne of God. in charge. in control. in power.
i'm not saying these things are trivial (as they are all personal). i'm not saying these things shouldn't hurt. nor am i saying these things should be brushed aside. what i am saying, is that somewhere in the chaos, confusion and uncertainty, He is still in control. and in that, i will try my best to have joy. in that, i will try my best to give thanks. and ultimately, in that, is where my comfort should be. Lord, help my joy to be like this: joy = f(my_comfort(Jesus))